RECOVERY, REBIRTH, SELF DISCOVERY, and HOPE!!

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and we are sharing powerful stories from current and former SafeHouse clients. 

*Warning* Some of the stories we will share this month do contain details of violence, sexual assault, and/or child abuse. Identifying information may have been removed or changed to protect confidentially. 

"I married a guy back in 2009. He was so charming and suave! Until he wasn’t...

He only put his hands on me a couple times but that’s not the abuse that tore me apart! I could defend myself physically, but boy did he LOVE his mental and emotional games! He was crude, hurtful, and had no remorse. Everything was my fault and he would apologize “if he ever did anything wrong.” I never heard an “I am sorry” in eights years of dating and marriage, and to this day he would tell you that I was too emotional or should have just let him drink or have his drugs and I should have just left him alone... when he couldn’t get to me he would turn his attention and harshness towards my daughter, the little girl he decided to adopt and give his last name too when she was eight. By ten he was sexually abusing her (I just recently found this out) he made her, a child, feel like she deserved it and it was the only way she could be loved! My son still gets to go see him and it unnerves us when he is with his dad, and my son is afraid of his dads temper! And the story goes on... but y’all - there is RECOVERY, REBIRTH, SELF DISCOVERY, and HOPE!!

The kids and I left 4 years ago next month, and things while still a work in progress are so much better than what they were! I have learned that it’s ok to have been a victim, that it’s ok to admit that I was and am scared of him! I have learned that my thoughts and feelings, might not be the same as others, but that they are mine and just as important as anyone else’s!  I have come to love and respect myself and others! I have learned to express myself in healthier ways, not to be passive-agrees I’ve, but to be assertive in a respectful way. It ok and actually normal and a great thing to have boundaries for yourself and for others. It’s ok to have expectations for others to respect you! And the hardest, best, and most rewarding part has been watching and helping my almost 17 year old daughter come out the other side of the emotional distress she kept buried for six years! She is doing better than she was!! I am better than I was, and my son has a better chance not to be like his dad now that the influence is not a daily constant! Do not ever give up on yourself! Go to therapy, find others that relate, talk about it! Don’t hide! Make the transition from victim to survivor!  It’s a daily process, and some are better than others, but it’s worth it because YOU ARE WORTH IT!

I am now happily married to a man who loves me and my kids without conditions, who is patient and does his best to be understanding! He loves the kids as his own and I have been given the privilege to add to my family three more wonderful kids that fill the gap between my two, as well as a great friend in his ex wife who has been through similar.

I am thankful for those family and friends who have walked through this with me and for Safe House who’s work is so important to people like us! Thank you!!

And to those of you who have similar stories, there is Hope and a Future for you!"