Let's Talk About It

Consent = permission for something to happen or agreement to do something

You may have seen our video from earlier this week, “Consent is not…” If you haven’t, we encourage you to check it out on Facebook and Instagram. Learning about what consent is and what it is not is only part of the conversation. How do we teach consent to kids and teens?

Start early- you don’t have to talk about sex to teach consent.

Consent is about so much more than sex. Start the conversation with kids young so they already understand the concept of consent long before you have the talk with them. Model consent for your kids. “Would you rather hug or fist bump?” “Do you want a goodnight kiss tonight?” Respect the answer your child gives you. It may be difficult not to give your child a hug, but it empowers them to know they have control of their body. When they become teens it will make it easier for them to tell their friends and dating partners what they want, and they are more likely to respect the boundaries set by others.

Talk openly- create a safe space for your child or teen to ask the tough questions.

You will probably feel uncomfortable talking about consent and/or sex, and that’s okay. Be honest with your child and teen. You won’t fool them anyway if you lie about not feeling awkward. Talk to them and not at them. Ask their opinion and listen to what they say. Also try to make your questions open-ended to keep the conversation flowing. Talk openly and talk frequently, even if your child and teen gets tired of the conversation. Kids and teens get tired of a lot of things we say to them (“Do your homework.” “Take out the trash.” “Because I said so.”) and that doesn’t stop us. Consent is no different. Talk about it even if your child and teen doesn’t want to.

Educate yourself- don’t go into these conversations before doing your research.

Having a hard time talking openly to your kids and teens about consent? You are not alone. Not sure how to keep those conversations age appropriate? It’s a struggle for a lot of people. Do some research first!

Below are great additional resources to check-out:

RAINN- What Consent Looks Like

Love is Respect- What is Consent?

The Trevor Project- Resources for LGBTQ Youth

NSVRC- 6 Resources to Help Parents Talk to Kids About Consent

Still not sure what to say? No problem. Show these videos to your kids or teens:

Consent for Kids

Tea and Consent for Teens

The SafeHouse Prevention Team has some great brochures on the topics of break-ups, sexting, and dating violence as well as other informational materials. Email Sarah, our Prevention Coordinator, at sarahr@safehouse.org to request our free materials. Sarah is also available for presentations and workshops!

Program Spotlight: Legal Advocacy Team

The court system can be scary and overwhelming. We believe no survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault should have to navigate that process alone. The Victim Advocate and Court Advocate answer questions about the process and attend court.

Protection from Abuse Orders (PFAs)

If you have experienced a domestic violence incident, someone may have suggested you request a PFA. But what does that mean? Protection from Abuser Orders are a type of restraining order specifically for intimate partner relationships. Our Court Advocate can help you complete the paperwork, and she always attends PFA Court. Once the PFA has been given to the offender, the offender can be arrested for contacting or coming too close.

*Due to COVID-19, the Shelby County Courthouse is closed to the general public, but you may still go to the clerk’s office to file for a PFA.*

Court Accompaniment

The Victim Advocate and the Court Advocate can accompany domestic violence and sexual assault victims to court. The Court Advocate will sit with clients during civil cases, such as divorces, and the Victim Advocate may attend criminal cases that relate to victimization.

Lethality Assessment Program

SafeHouse partners with our local law enforcement to provide the Lethality Assessment Program (LAP). Police Officers called to the scene of a domestic distrubance can use an 11 question screening tool to help them assess if a domestic violence victim may be in danger of homicide. That officer will then call the crisis hotline on the victim’s behalf. The Victim Advocate tries to make contact within 72 hours after someone has been screened through the LAP.  

Contact Us! 
Do you have a PFA or are you interested in requesting one? You can reach out to Abby to learn more about the process. Email her at abbyb@safehouse.org

The Victim Advocate is happy to help with any criminal case that relates to domestic violence. Email Elizabeth at elizabethc@safehouse.org

SafeHouse also runs a 24/7 crisis hotline for domestic violence and sexual assault victims seeking services. Call 205.669.7233 to get more information about emergency shelter, sexual assault forensic exams, counseling or case management.